The Way I See It...

Publisher's Letter 

Robin Rogers, Ed.D.

April 2024

If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.

There are certain things that you can set your watch to, and my daughter’s weekly schedule is one. She’s the modern-day Norm from the TV sitcom Cheers. At all of her regular haunts, everyone knows her name, the day and time she’s coming, and her lunch order—because she literally orders the same meals every single week. Mondays are for grilled shrimp at Flying Burger. On Tuesdays, she goes to Tacos 4 Life (because it’s “Taco Tuesday”). Wednesdays belong to Julie’s Deli and in particular the chicken spaghetti special. Thursdays are for pimento cheese sandwiches at Newk’s, and you can find her ordering a cheeseburger at TLC on Fridays. She attends choir practice on Monday, PT on Therapy Thursday, and her volunteer shift at TRAHC on Friday. She rarely deviates. She is a creature of habit.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Emily gets her routine-orientation from me. We like things to be the same, and change makes us nervous.

This afternoon, like most third Thursdays of the month, Emily and I were at the nail salon after work. I don’t talk much while the nail drills are buzzing, letting my mind drift off to tasks and lists while my hands are held captive. Occasionally, I scan the room and imagine what the other people do for a living or where they are going once their fingers and toes are shiny and sparkly. Sometimes, I make up stories in my head about a date-night or prom or mother-daughter salon appointment, but today, nothing too exciting was going on at the nail shop. 

A young girl was sitting next to me, and her friend was across the room. At first, I wasn’t sure of her age—she could have been 13 or 23—but then I noticed her arm, which had blue and red ink handwriting down the forearm. If the handwriting had been cleaner, I might have thought it was a tattoo (and thus an older girl), but the penmanship was clearly that of a doodling schoolgirl. She had written, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” The words “challenge” and “change” were in red ink, and the other words were in blue. I smiled at the memories of writing with BIC ballpoints on my jeans, book covers, tennis shoes, and notebooks, but my mother would’ve scolded me good for writing on my skin (I’m not sure why; maybe she just thought it was tacky). 

I was impressed with the words my nail neighbor had written, and my mind wandered down a rabbit hole.

“If it doesn’t challenge you”? Gosh, I have become so ridiculously routine. Three years ago, I paid off my house. For the first time in my adult life, I had no house payment, so I pushed myself to pay off my automobile. At the end of last year, I pulled that off and now have no car payment, either. My kids are out of college, everything seems to be going fine at work, I’m 53 years old, and I’m officially out of debt. Knock on wood over and over and over again because I have worked and prayed and hoped and scrimped for this freedom. I feel like I have been challenged for many years to get to this point in life, but how am I feeling now that I’m here? Six months into this new life of no debt, and “Operation: Save More for Retirement” has begun—though I’m nowhere near ready to retire.

I have a good friend who started talking about retirement in her 40s. I always knew that she would be happier the day she hung up her work badge, and not because she hated her job. She just always wanted to stay at home and cook and travel and be present for her family. I respect that—and I know I, personally, am a better and happier person when I challenge myself with new ideas at work or as a volunteer in the community. There’s that word: challenge. If it’s not a challenge, I won’t change. And I need change. Despite the sameness I seek in my meals and manicure appointments, monotony doesn’t help me grow. (My daughter Emily needs change, too, and this editorial is going to spur me to light a fire under her wheels.)

The thing I wanted for so many years—to be debt-free—finally happened, and six months later, it is time to get busy with another challenge. I want to keep changing, and I mean in more ways than just my nail color.

When we got home this evening, I was still thinking about that saying. Then, I read cover-to-cover the very magazine you’re now holding. I proofread every issue, usually about the same day of every month, the night before we go to press, right before I write my editorial. I always hope to be stirred by the stories so that I can tie a bow on the issue with an inspired op-ed piece. Tonight, I was stuck on the challenge/change idea as I read through these stories. This month, we chose to feature people who are doing cool things after age 60, for the betterment of society or themselves or their families. What I realized is that I want to take a lesson from their playbooks: to be more involved, change it up, take some more chances, and show up more for the things I care about, because doing so will make me a better and happier person. As it turns out, happiness doesn’t come automatically if you pay off your house or your car. It doesn’t come with a particular age, either, although I am pretty stoked about senior discounts. Rewards come from risks and challenging oneself in different ways, over and over again throughout life. The only time we should stop changing is at death, and I don’t plan on dying any time soon, so the challenges need to start presenting! Every person we featured in this issue is meeting new challenges head-on, whether societal, financial, athletic, academic, artistic, or personal. They are my heroes and the people I want to emulate in life. 

I wish I had asked the girl at the nail salon why she wrote that on her arm. She’s much wiser than her age. Maybe she’ll read this and know that she jump-started Year 54 of my life.

I hope you love these stories as much as I did, and as always, thanks for reading FSLM.